I Can't Help You

I don't think I've commented yet on the surprising number of people I just can't help. I don't mean the public health project -- I've gotten over the fact that I'm trying to add a small amount of momentum to a rather large mountain of poverty/malnutrition/maladaptive thinking. I mean the individuals I can't help. Pretty much every other day, somebody here comes to me with a request that they think I've got special powers to solve.

The most common is a visa. All the staff want to go study or work in the US, and have asked me at some point to tell them how to come over. Of course, right now, it's basically impossible to get a visa to come work in the US, and student visas aren't much easier post 9/11. At any major university, they're reserved for people who've gone to "name brand" Indian universities. I definitely don't know how to get an entry visa or a green card for the guy who makes the tea, no matter how good his English is (it's not bad -- better than my Hindi).

Next most common is telling them what field of IT to study. I am not sure if there's just something different about Indian PhDs than American PhDs in terms of what's taught, or if there's really not an understanding that the PhD is a research degree, not a commercial degree. At any rate, when I explain that no, I can't teach a class on Oracle databases, and no, I don't know what field someone should specialize in to make the most money, or what are the key things to help prepare for IIT, I get this look that says "Why aren't you sharing your knowledge? Why are you holding out on us?" (Thankfully, the most recent was someone asking me about programs at the University of Pittsburgh. I can answer that one.)

The most heartbreaking, though, are the ones I just can't understand, of which there's one every two weeks or so. These come from the guys who sweep the floor or empty the water buckets or do something else menial. They'll come up, start walking beside me or just standing there, and they'll ask if I understand Hindi. To which they get told (in Hindi), "Only a little, and you have to speak slowly." Of course, I invariably get a torrent of words I don't understand, and after about six repetitions of "samja nahi" (I don't understand), they walk away like hurt little puppies. I think they're asking for some kind of favor for their kids, or at least, I hear the word for "child" in these conversations a lot. I've tried, with the latest one, getting someone else to see what he wanted, but have not had any luck.

I do exploit this illusion of Infinite Knowledge to get work done on my project -- since nobody has any clue about any of the things we're doing, my marginal level of expertise plus the lofty degrees is enough to convince them to go ahead. So, I can't complain when people come seeking wisdom. I just wish they didn't all seem to believe that I'm deliberately being unhelpful. I don't know how to convey that America is a big place, the world of science and medicine is MUCH bigger than they're taught, and no one person can know all the things they're hoping for (no matter how much Dr. Ashok and others may proclaim my virtues).